So I started this week off with great intentions... and then somewhere along the way, things went a little awhol. At some point this week there was Valentine's Day, and the day-after Valentine's Day, and now the weekend is upon me, and I've managed to fit too many calories in, and I'm not in a really great place right now...
At the moment, I feel bloated and gross... too many chips and guacamole and butter chicken and bread pumped into my tummy. Those would be the remnants from the binge I just went on at my in-laws' for supper.
I definitely feel terrible and defeated. Can't I do this one thing right!? I was doing so good... eating right, exercising (even if just a little bit)... and now I'm throwing it away to shove food into my mouth mindlessly.
A little bit of healthy reflection is what I need for sure, but I have to admit, I'm not liking what I'm seeing. On Tuesday, I was at 264 lbs - over 15 lbs lost to date. Now I've managed to pack myself full of salt, carbs, and sugar, and I'm suffering the consequences dearly. I've noticed the past few days that the scale has been climbing up towards 266, even 267 this morning... I know it's from water retention and such, but I can't help but cringing at the numbers that are so far away from the goal I reach Tuesday morning.
My frustration is definitely building. How easy it is to just throw away all your hard work on one too many donuts, or five extra fistfuls of cinnamon hearts, or another half a bag of ripple chips heaping with guacamole.
I'm doing so many things wrong, and I can see it - I'm just not taking the bull by the horns and turning this gong show around. I feel so miserable right now.
I know I can rectify this, I know I can make tomorrow count for something, but I feel disgusting right now and my stomach hurts from all the excess.
I need to set some more goals. Goal #1, I'm loving exercising. Taking the elliptical five minutes at a time is more my speed, literally. I don't get bored quite as easily, and I feel like I accomplish something in a short amount of time. I'm graduating myself by going for 5 minutes, stopping for a while, and then getting back on and doing another 5. Perhaps I can add another 5 minute interval to my workout tomorrow...?
Goal #2, drinking more water. I have been neglecting this sorely. It's showing in the way I bloat all the time. Even if it's just a glass more than usual, I need to be getting more water in. Ideally my 8 cups a day, but definitely more if I need it.
Goal #3, multivitamins. I'm now the proud owner of some multivitamins, so I need to make sure I'm taking them every day. This will help me get those extra nutrients and vitamins that I've been missing lately, as well as supplementing those things that I definitely do not eat (calcium, vitamin C, etc.).
Goal #4, grocery shopping. This one is a big one for me. We've been out of groceries for like, a week, and it's really reflecting in my eating habits. I haven't had any fruit for practically ever, and I tend to slack off in the eating department in a large way, when I don't eat my fruits in the morning (especially). I need to get myself asap to the grocery store to pick up my fruits for the week... this would definitely give me some better alternatives, particularly for snacking on...
These are some of my goals for the week, starting tomorrow. I definitely want to be more conscious of those things going in my body, as well as increasing my activity level so I'm burning more calories and becoming more fit and active. I am really pleased with how I'm progressing in this area, and I feel incredibly better after spending 5 minutes burning off some steam on the elliptical trainer. I think this is something I need to encourage and cultivate. I really need to start paying more attention to how many fruits and veggies I'm inhaling a day, and focusing on upping that number as opposed to just eating whatever happens to be in front of my face at that moment...
I will make tomorrow better than today. I will strive for (and achieve) at least one of my goals today, and I'll get myself back on track so that I don't take more steps backwards than I'm taking forwards. My goal is to be down to 250 lbs *hopefully* by March 8. I think that's fairly reasonable though, if I'm conscious about all these things I mentioned...
Either way, prayers and well wishes are welcomed as I veer back onto the straight and narrow.
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