PWLP: Week Four - Lesson Three

Personal Evaluation

1. What feelings did you experience as you read through this lesson?    I felt a real awareness of my own struggles with food addiction and compulsion. I felt ashamed and embarassed, but understood and free. Clearly, I'm not the only one who struggles with this - and so other people are where I'm at and have overcome the obstacles of food addiction. I felt empowered, because the lesson is addressing a change in the way I'll live forever - not as a slave to food or my habits, but free to overcome my struggles and personal failings and to live in a way that honors God.

2. Did reading about this subject cause you discomfort? Did it confirm your suspicions? Explain what this means in terms of your self-image.    I felt uncomfortable as I read through, only because it sounded too familiar to me. I've always struggled with feeling out of control - whenever I'm in a situation that I can't control, I turn to food to comfort me and help me through the rough patches. I felt like today's lesson really struck home for me, by identifying lack of self-control and stress as key contributors to food addiction and compulsion. For me, this program and understanding the way my food addiction/compulsions work, means self-control. It means taking my life by the reins, in a way I never have before. I feel like I can finally be in-control of my life, and stop leaning on food as my crutch.

3. Do you have any family members or close friends with a history of addiction or compulsion? How does their problem compare to your behaviors?    I know of several people close to me that have struggled or continue to struggle with addictions and/or compulsions. I see a whole bunch of things like craze, exhaustion, deceit, guiltiness, desire, naivety, and obsession guide their well-versed lives. It hurts me to see them be slaves to their minds and bodies, and it hurts me to know that I too am a slave like them. Their lives very much parallel my own, in a way I never noticed before - actions and behaviors that never struck me as odd, now send up warning flags when I realize that I am also an addict and struggle in the same way they do.

4. Do you have difficulty admitting or accepting that you may have a serious problem with eating? Why?    No, I don't. For the last few months before starting PRISM, I noticed that I had a 'problem' with certain foods like chocolate-covered granola bars, Coca Cola and other sodas, as well as cookies, chocolate, and buttered-popcorn flavored Crispy Minis. I couldn't figure out why I got such strong and overwhelming cravings for these foods, and why I managed to down obscene quantities of them in such a little amount of time, yet still craving more. I wouldn't have thought to call my problem an 'addiction,' but that's certainly what it is. I have no shame in admitting that I am a food addict and need help in rehabilitating from my problem/disease. It's freeing to accept this truth as part of my identity, without letting it dictate and guide my life.