Personal Evaluation
1. Have you experienced a void in your life through the loss of something or someone important? Describe how you felt. I felt really alone, like no one understood what I was going through. I felt hurt and angry, and a lot of self-pity.
2. What aer some ways you have dealt with this void? By remembering the good things - through my own memories, as well as things like songs, or items that trigger fond memories for me. Sometimes I gorged myself on foods that reminded me of what I had lost, and felt comforted by this action.
3. In what ways can you relate to the statement describing fat as a "wall of protection"? I understand the context it's used in in the lesson, but I can't say that I personally relate to it, or at least, not that I can think of.
4. Have you found it difficult to accept physical affection from others? Yes. Especially with my husband - I mostly pushed him away because I felt uncomfortable with myself. I didn't like feeling his arms around my squishy fat, and I didn't want him noticing how large I was and getting disgusted with me.
5. Name two people whom you would like to spend more time. Make a plan for how to do that this week. My sister, Stephanie, and my husband, Josh. I can try to schedule some sort of sister-get-together with Stephanie, maybe for next weekend? I've already expressed to her that I want to go on a "new belt buying date" as well as a day where we reward ourselves for our hard work and commitment to the program thus far. Maybe in buying Pandora/Persona charm bracelets, and we can celebrate big milestones with a charm or something... With Josh, I need to express to him that I miss his company and make a good effort to try to do things with him - without whining, or bursting into tears, or guilting him into it. I need to be a willing and active party in this, as well as being the pursuer, instead of always wanting him to chase after me.
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